After a cracker of a first episode of The Apprentice, round two followed in swift succession and did not disappoint.
Round one gave us hot dogs, dickheads and Shoreditch-filled madness. Round two gave us an equal amount of pleasure – both from despising the contestants and laughing at their madness. Have a look below to see the 10 things that we took away from the second instalment of The Apprentice:
1. Robert Bottled It And Dug His Own Grave
When Lord Sugar tells you to be the project manager, you listen. Or you absolutely bottle it and secure your exit from the show if you're Robert Goodwin. What a tool!
His excuse? "Based on it being a high-street product, it's not the market that I'm aiming to go for," said Robert. He then said he would only be project manager if the product cost £5k and they marketed it to the horribly rich.
Oh Robert. We dislike you more and more. When Lord Sugar called you a "fast-minded Shoreditch-lover" at the start of the episode, I think he meant poncey hipster dickhead.
In the end, he got his just reward. Lord Sugar directing his harsh, fate-deciding glare and stating: "Robert I don't like people who bottle out. You're fired."
YES. That sorts that out then. Away off back to your 'Luxury £250,000 yacht in Cannes." You twat.
2. The Women's Team Lying To Get Out Of Being Manager
Robert denied his place as project manager quickly. In the women's group though, everyone seemed to rule themselves out in a matter of seconds.
Nunun eventually took it on, but still said in the boardroom: "I actually was forced into taking this role. I just make scarves for the Asian niche market." Fair enough. Pretty specific.
Bianca was the alternative, but was scared away, basically just saying "I am right for this role but I don't want to take the flack so you can do it instead." She bottled it. Lord Sugar doesn't like that.
Round one gave us hot dogs, dickheads and Shoreditch-filled madness. Round two gave us an equal amount of pleasure – both from despising the contestants and laughing at their madness. Have a look below to see the 10 things that we took away from the second instalment of The Apprentice:
1. Robert Bottled It And Dug His Own Grave
When Lord Sugar tells you to be the project manager, you listen. Or you absolutely bottle it and secure your exit from the show if you're Robert Goodwin. What a tool!
His excuse? "Based on it being a high-street product, it's not the market that I'm aiming to go for," said Robert. He then said he would only be project manager if the product cost £5k and they marketed it to the horribly rich.
Oh Robert. We dislike you more and more. When Lord Sugar called you a "fast-minded Shoreditch-lover" at the start of the episode, I think he meant poncey hipster dickhead.
In the end, he got his just reward. Lord Sugar directing his harsh, fate-deciding glare and stating: "Robert I don't like people who bottle out. You're fired."
YES. That sorts that out then. Away off back to your 'Luxury £250,000 yacht in Cannes." You twat.
2. The Women's Team Lying To Get Out Of Being Manager
Robert denied his place as project manager quickly. In the women's group though, everyone seemed to rule themselves out in a matter of seconds.
Nunun eventually took it on, but still said in the boardroom: "I actually was forced into taking this role. I just make scarves for the Asian niche market." Fair enough. Pretty specific.
Bianca was the alternative, but was scared away, basically just saying "I am right for this role but I don't want to take the flack so you can do it instead." She bottled it. Lord Sugar doesn't like that.
3. 'The Selfie Sweatshirt'. Really?
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Why on earth would you ever want something that films everywhere you go? Although saying that, most tourists do that anyway these days...
Mark Wright nailed it on the head when he hit the post-loss coffee shop: "We got it wrong from the start. We had a jumper with a camera in it." That certainly was the main problem.
When light leggings are said to be a better idea than whatever the hell you've come up with, you've got to think twice about the idea. And take a long look in the mirror for that matter.
4. The Most Complicated Design Of All Time
Solving the British weather, charging your phone and lighting you up to stand out from the crowd? This sounds like a novelty Christmas tree, not a jumper
"Why didn't you just stick to the charging function?" ask Firebox. Even that would've been slightly ridiculous. Why the hell they ordered 250 of the things we'll never know.
5. Scott McCulloch Going Angry Scotsman
Scott was fired now, and rumour has it Lord Sugar has had various bodyguards ever since. Because Scott was probably the angriest man in the world.
When his teammates turned on him, he turned on them. Big style. "Can't yous work as a team? Do yous need to be managed?! Do yous need to have your hand held by a project manager?", he screamed.
He looked like he was about to nut any one of his teammates at any given time. This guy definitely has been through a few punch ups, and Lord Sugar was a braver man than us when he fired him. We think we would've just let him win so we could keep our lives.
Oh, and he said "I put my balls on the line" a bit too much for our liking. We were scared.
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Why on earth would you ever want something that films everywhere you go? Although saying that, most tourists do that anyway these days...
Mark Wright nailed it on the head when he hit the post-loss coffee shop: "We got it wrong from the start. We had a jumper with a camera in it." That certainly was the main problem.
When light leggings are said to be a better idea than whatever the hell you've come up with, you've got to think twice about the idea. And take a long look in the mirror for that matter.
4. The Most Complicated Design Of All Time
Solving the British weather, charging your phone and lighting you up to stand out from the crowd? This sounds like a novelty Christmas tree, not a jumper
"Why didn't you just stick to the charging function?" ask Firebox. Even that would've been slightly ridiculous. Why the hell they ordered 250 of the things we'll never know.
5. Scott McCulloch Going Angry Scotsman
Scott was fired now, and rumour has it Lord Sugar has had various bodyguards ever since. Because Scott was probably the angriest man in the world.
When his teammates turned on him, he turned on them. Big style. "Can't yous work as a team? Do yous need to be managed?! Do yous need to have your hand held by a project manager?", he screamed.
He looked like he was about to nut any one of his teammates at any given time. This guy definitely has been through a few punch ups, and Lord Sugar was a braver man than us when he fired him. We think we would've just let him win so we could keep our lives.
Oh, and he said "I put my balls on the line" a bit too much for our liking. We were scared.
Scott McCulloch has looked like he was about to nut any one of his teammates at any given time. This guy definitely has been through a few punch ups
6. Sales Talk. We Love Sales Talk
Sales talk is magnificent and we're so glad that it's back in our life. Scott was first at it, saying "I'm a selling machine" in his strangely aggressive tone that made us wonder if he was joking or he was actually a machine.
Robert meanwhile chipped in with this gem - "Our motto is - privacy is history." A strong argument in this privacy-centred modern day. Oh dear Rob.
7. The Worst Sales Line Of All Time
Daniel meanwhile chipped in with - by far - the worst sales pitch of all time. We was pitching a jumper and he literally said: "I personally wouldn't wear the product in a public place. You wouldn't go out and about in it."
He then continued to agree with criticisms that the product looked a bit Christmassy, it attracted too much attention to the chest area and that it was pretty much shit all-round.
When asked about his efforts later, he said: "The Pitch Went Absolutely Outstanding." Was he high?! Personally, the JFC crew have no idea how this guy is still in the competition.
8. The Cringeworthy Pitch From Nunun
Project manager Nunun was selling the girl's awful solar-panel top. Not only did she call a jacket a 'jock', she was ridiculously slow and stumbled in her pitch. At one point she stopped and said 'oh dear'. Not what you want to here when you're considering buying a product.
9. No Orders. No Orders. No Orders.
This was as awkward a moment as a boardroom gets. These people are meant to be some of the best business men and women in Britain, and only one department store out of six placed an order between both of them put together.
Would you have worn either of those products to be fair? I'd be surprised to see one going for a quid in a charity shop. That'd mean that someone would've had to buy and donate it first.
10. Karen Turning On The Scare
Karen Brady showed that she's got a fierce bite behind her clever wit in the latest boardroom clash.
When Scott was deciding who to bring back, she roared: "If you spent less time covering your own arse and actually thought about the task then at some point you might get some names for Lord Sugar."
We shuddered, and even the great aggressor that is Scott had a small flinch. Be wary all.
Stuart Kenny
Sales talk is magnificent and we're so glad that it's back in our life. Scott was first at it, saying "I'm a selling machine" in his strangely aggressive tone that made us wonder if he was joking or he was actually a machine.
Robert meanwhile chipped in with this gem - "Our motto is - privacy is history." A strong argument in this privacy-centred modern day. Oh dear Rob.
7. The Worst Sales Line Of All Time
Daniel meanwhile chipped in with - by far - the worst sales pitch of all time. We was pitching a jumper and he literally said: "I personally wouldn't wear the product in a public place. You wouldn't go out and about in it."
He then continued to agree with criticisms that the product looked a bit Christmassy, it attracted too much attention to the chest area and that it was pretty much shit all-round.
When asked about his efforts later, he said: "The Pitch Went Absolutely Outstanding." Was he high?! Personally, the JFC crew have no idea how this guy is still in the competition.
8. The Cringeworthy Pitch From Nunun
Project manager Nunun was selling the girl's awful solar-panel top. Not only did she call a jacket a 'jock', she was ridiculously slow and stumbled in her pitch. At one point she stopped and said 'oh dear'. Not what you want to here when you're considering buying a product.
9. No Orders. No Orders. No Orders.
This was as awkward a moment as a boardroom gets. These people are meant to be some of the best business men and women in Britain, and only one department store out of six placed an order between both of them put together.
Would you have worn either of those products to be fair? I'd be surprised to see one going for a quid in a charity shop. That'd mean that someone would've had to buy and donate it first.
10. Karen Turning On The Scare
Karen Brady showed that she's got a fierce bite behind her clever wit in the latest boardroom clash.
When Scott was deciding who to bring back, she roared: "If you spent less time covering your own arse and actually thought about the task then at some point you might get some names for Lord Sugar."
We shuddered, and even the great aggressor that is Scott had a small flinch. Be wary all.
Stuart Kenny
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