1. The Team Tenacity Project Manager Logic
Team Tenacity were a blast in the early stages of this episode. Katie Bulmer-Cooke was nominated to take control of the perfume and candle manufacturing task because she’s ‘obsessive about how things in her house smell’.
So she likes things that smell nice, which makes her ideal to sell candles. Obviously. On that basis, we like the way beer tastes, so maybe we should start a brewery...
2. Sarah Dales Is The Most Annoying Person Ever
One thing that’s been a constant throughout the Apprentice so far is that 32 year old Londoner Sarah Dales is the most irritating person to ever grace the television.
She fights over every single decision being made, usually from a preposterous position and without a leg to stand on. Her finest low moment this week? Having a breakdown in front of the public when asked to make up the candles behind the scene.
In a buys London corner she plagued us with a series of cringe-worthy shouts annoying enough to make us almost attach the television ourselves. She must go soon Lord Sugar, or we may just stop watching.
3. The Team's Fragrance Names Were Hilariously Bad
This point was just all too easy. Let’s start with ‘British Breeze’. The scent name sounds like some sort of BNP-endorsed aftershave, and just to make things worse, the majority of the ingredients for the thing weren’t even made from British products. Lemongrass, for example. Deary me.
Beach Dreams meanwhile is the sort of shit you can imagine actually being endorsed by a scantily-clad D-List celebrity on a sun-set background. It also sounds like one of those ‘my first perfume’ type things you would give to an eight year old, which actually only has water inside it and is made of plastic. Fail on both parts.
4. You Shouldn't Make Candles That Look Like Piss
“I’m not entirely convinced about the colour,” said Lindsey, a member of Team Tenacity, when their stunning new candles turned up at the door. And we can’t exactly blame her for the proclamation either.
These things were coloured in a special brand of yellow that’s normally only seen in the inside of the toilet. Urine-scented candles anyone?
Team Tenacity were a blast in the early stages of this episode. Katie Bulmer-Cooke was nominated to take control of the perfume and candle manufacturing task because she’s ‘obsessive about how things in her house smell’.
So she likes things that smell nice, which makes her ideal to sell candles. Obviously. On that basis, we like the way beer tastes, so maybe we should start a brewery...
2. Sarah Dales Is The Most Annoying Person Ever
One thing that’s been a constant throughout the Apprentice so far is that 32 year old Londoner Sarah Dales is the most irritating person to ever grace the television.
She fights over every single decision being made, usually from a preposterous position and without a leg to stand on. Her finest low moment this week? Having a breakdown in front of the public when asked to make up the candles behind the scene.
In a buys London corner she plagued us with a series of cringe-worthy shouts annoying enough to make us almost attach the television ourselves. She must go soon Lord Sugar, or we may just stop watching.
3. The Team's Fragrance Names Were Hilariously Bad
This point was just all too easy. Let’s start with ‘British Breeze’. The scent name sounds like some sort of BNP-endorsed aftershave, and just to make things worse, the majority of the ingredients for the thing weren’t even made from British products. Lemongrass, for example. Deary me.
Beach Dreams meanwhile is the sort of shit you can imagine actually being endorsed by a scantily-clad D-List celebrity on a sun-set background. It also sounds like one of those ‘my first perfume’ type things you would give to an eight year old, which actually only has water inside it and is made of plastic. Fail on both parts.
4. You Shouldn't Make Candles That Look Like Piss
“I’m not entirely convinced about the colour,” said Lindsey, a member of Team Tenacity, when their stunning new candles turned up at the door. And we can’t exactly blame her for the proclamation either.
These things were coloured in a special brand of yellow that’s normally only seen in the inside of the toilet. Urine-scented candles anyone?
If that was me, I’d be wondering what the hell must be wrong with these things that this crazy lot are so happy to get rid of them...
5. Get Your Labels Straight Or Die Trying
When you’re attempting to sell any product to an exclusive gentleman’s lounge in London, you’re going to have to make the product pretty damn special.
We’re not exactly sure what a gentleman’s lounge is or what antics they get up to their, but they certainly look swanky as hell. When they were presented with a hand wash with a squint label on it then, they were less than impressed.
“Yes, it does appear to be squint,” replied the desperate Apprentice candidates. Because that’ll reassure the customers, right enough.
6. Apprentice Sales Must Be Really Awkward For Candidates
In a wonderfully comical reaction to a sales ‘success’, Team Summit decided to come out a small shop jumping up and down and hugging one another after selling out of candles.
Imagine how weird that must’ve been for the person who just bought their product. If that was me, I’d be wondering what the hell must be wrong with these things that this crazy lot are so happy about getting rid of them... Very professional, to say the least.
7. Even Victors Aren't Always Good At Their Jobs
Arguably the finest moment of this episode, when Team Tenacity were told that they had actually won the task, despite not selling out their products, team manager Katie couldn’t help but give out a gasp of disbelief and squeal “We Won?!”
If there was ever a surefire sign that someone has done a sub-standard job, it’s surely that they’re shocked to the point of screaming when they’re told that they’ve come out on top. Again with the professionalism.
8. Lindsey Booth Provided The Ultimate Apprentice Drama
In a moment of pure Apprentice drama, Lindsey Booth put her own head in the guillotine and effectively helped Lord Sugar up with his arm when she admitted she had been pretty damn poor in the opening weeks.
The swimming teacher (always a good stepping stone from which to go into the business world) even broke down in tears and brought the BBC to set the scene to a version of The Apprentice theme tune performed on violin. Overkill? Surely not.
9. James Hill Think He's Lord Sugar's Son
In a bid to save himself from the axe, James Hill took on a new tactic never seen before in the boardroom, an attempt to woo Lord Sugar through becoming his long-lost prodigy.
“I’m just like you Lord Sugar,” he continued to claim. “I just did exactly what you would have done in my situation.” Needless to say, big Alan got pretty tired of all this pretty quickly, yelling at the kid to shut the hell up. An entertaining effort by James, and, ultimately, a successful one... For now.
10. Nurin Ahmed Just Isn't Cut Out For It
When she reached the boardroom this time around, Nurin Ahmed simply had to go. Roisin had done a good job as PM, James was winning the heart and soul of Lord Sugar and effectively asking for adoption, and Nurin continued to beat about the bush when asked what she’s actually good at.
Whenever presented with any task, she would continually just claim that ‘this wasn’t her department’, even when dealing with clothing – despite the fact she actually does run a clothing store. We were tired of her moaning so good work Alan. Bring on next week!
Stuart Kenny
When you’re attempting to sell any product to an exclusive gentleman’s lounge in London, you’re going to have to make the product pretty damn special.
We’re not exactly sure what a gentleman’s lounge is or what antics they get up to their, but they certainly look swanky as hell. When they were presented with a hand wash with a squint label on it then, they were less than impressed.
“Yes, it does appear to be squint,” replied the desperate Apprentice candidates. Because that’ll reassure the customers, right enough.
6. Apprentice Sales Must Be Really Awkward For Candidates
In a wonderfully comical reaction to a sales ‘success’, Team Summit decided to come out a small shop jumping up and down and hugging one another after selling out of candles.
Imagine how weird that must’ve been for the person who just bought their product. If that was me, I’d be wondering what the hell must be wrong with these things that this crazy lot are so happy about getting rid of them... Very professional, to say the least.
7. Even Victors Aren't Always Good At Their Jobs
Arguably the finest moment of this episode, when Team Tenacity were told that they had actually won the task, despite not selling out their products, team manager Katie couldn’t help but give out a gasp of disbelief and squeal “We Won?!”
If there was ever a surefire sign that someone has done a sub-standard job, it’s surely that they’re shocked to the point of screaming when they’re told that they’ve come out on top. Again with the professionalism.
8. Lindsey Booth Provided The Ultimate Apprentice Drama
In a moment of pure Apprentice drama, Lindsey Booth put her own head in the guillotine and effectively helped Lord Sugar up with his arm when she admitted she had been pretty damn poor in the opening weeks.
The swimming teacher (always a good stepping stone from which to go into the business world) even broke down in tears and brought the BBC to set the scene to a version of The Apprentice theme tune performed on violin. Overkill? Surely not.
9. James Hill Think He's Lord Sugar's Son
In a bid to save himself from the axe, James Hill took on a new tactic never seen before in the boardroom, an attempt to woo Lord Sugar through becoming his long-lost prodigy.
“I’m just like you Lord Sugar,” he continued to claim. “I just did exactly what you would have done in my situation.” Needless to say, big Alan got pretty tired of all this pretty quickly, yelling at the kid to shut the hell up. An entertaining effort by James, and, ultimately, a successful one... For now.
10. Nurin Ahmed Just Isn't Cut Out For It
When she reached the boardroom this time around, Nurin Ahmed simply had to go. Roisin had done a good job as PM, James was winning the heart and soul of Lord Sugar and effectively asking for adoption, and Nurin continued to beat about the bush when asked what she’s actually good at.
Whenever presented with any task, she would continually just claim that ‘this wasn’t her department’, even when dealing with clothing – despite the fact she actually does run a clothing store. We were tired of her moaning so good work Alan. Bring on next week!
Stuart Kenny
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