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Opinion: Why I’m Finally No Longer Able to To Defend Weezer’s Awful New Material

21/3/2017

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When I was 15, Weezer played the Edinburgh Corn Exchange. Although Weezer were my favourite band and the Corn Exchange was only a 10 minute walk from my house, my Mum wouldn't let me go. I am yet to forgive her.

The stinger is that, aside from a T in the Park performance in 2011, Weezer haven't played in Scotland since. Until now.

On the 24th of October, Weezer are scheduled to play the O2 Academy in Glasgow. So why am I not punching the air, screaming 'Ooweeoo! I look just like Buddy Holly’? 

Well, it's their new single, guys. It's really bad.

​Even before the Edinburgh gig my bitch mum wouldn't let me go to, Weezer were on a downward spiral. Fans were deserting the band in droves, claiming Rivers Cuomo hadn't written anything decent since either 2001's Green Album or 1996's Pinkerton.

Not me though. I was a Weezer apologist. Even on Raditude, an album with such songs as ‘The Girl Got Hot' and ‘I'm Your Daddy’ (also it was called Raditude), I could see the bright spots.

In 2014, Weezer released Everything Will Be Alright In The End (EWBAITE) to universal acclaim. They were sounding like the old Weezer again.
The recurring theme of the album was “we alienated our core fanbase by making shit pop music. We're sorry and we'll never do again.” Although the message was as subtle as me nailing a Weezer poster to my Mum's door every year to commemorate the day she MURDERED MY CHILDHOOD, it was reassuring. Even more reassuring was their follow up The White Album, their best album since its Green equivalent.

Finally, it wasn't embarrassing to enjoy Weezer's new stuff. This was a great period but it lasted a mere three years.

Put simply, Weezer's new song, ‘Feels Like Summer’, is awful. It sounds like every other top 40 fodder complete with a tacky childlike gang vocal motif which is sampled and escalated as an abysmal pre-drop. The actual instruments (you know, the ones that Weezer play) are so low down in the mix, you begin to question whether Brian Bell, Patrick Wilson and Scott Shriner are even on the track. It's a One Republic song, and a bad one at that. It's so polished, it makes Maroon 5 sound like Iggy Pop.


​Being angry at an artist for not meeting your preconceived notions of them is, admittedly, a dick move and normally I admire artists like Beck, Kanye West and Ryan Adams who switch up their sound with each album. The problem with Feels Like Summer is that it's completely devoid of character.

It's their worst song to date (‘I'm Your Daddy’ actually had a pretty decent chorus) and the fact it comes so quickly after EWBAITE's mission statement is a total bummer.

The worst thing is that it ruins the last two albums as well. It makes White and EWBAITE just seem like a different form of pandering. Like Cuomo's plan was always to win back the core fans before making another crack at the top of the charts and any future return to form will probably appear the same.

Weezer were a huge part of my childhood and, for that, I've turned a blind eye to past questionable ventures. This blatant cash grab is, however, a step too far.

I don't want to go to a tour promoting an album of 'Feels Like Summer's. It's not the same band I listened to on repeat in my auntie's attic.

It doesn't feel like I missed seeing my favourite band when I was 15. It doesn't even feel like I missed them during their 11 year Scottish absence. It feels like I missed them completely.
Grant Robertson
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